Thoughts from Over There

I used to believe we had lost command of the English language, but it seems that grammar is not everything. Some retain the ability to write simply and with great feeling. I stand corrected.

Army Staff Sgt. Dale Panchot, 26, of Northome, Minn., in a letter to his family.

“I was reading my Bible the other night and in the book of Genesis ... it said when God created the heavens and earth, he made four rivers, two of which are here in Iraq, the Tigris and the Euphrates. So after I found that out, I had to go down by the river and touch the water. I tell you, it was something else. Pretty cool, huh?”

The final journal entry of Army National Guard Chief Warrant Officer Bruce Smith, 41, of West Liberty, Iowa. His wife, Oliva, received the necklace in the mail two days after his funeral, with a short note:

“Oliva, Happy Birthday Early. Love Bruce.”“I sent Oliva a b-day present yesterday. A nice necklace. She will get it a couple of weeks early but that is good.”

Army National Guard Sgt. Roger Rowe, 54, of Bon Aqua, Tenn., in his last letter to his wife, Shirley.

“Love has always gotten us through and it will do so again.”

Army Pfc. Diego Rincon, 19, of Conyers, Ga., in his last letter home.

“Whether I make it or not, it’s all part of the plan. It can’t be changed, only completed. Mother will be the last word I’ll say. Your face will be the last picture that goes through my eyes. ... I just hope that you’re proud of what I’m doing and have faith in my decisions. I will try hard and not give up. I just want to say sorry for anything I have ever done wrong. And I’m doing it all for you mom. I love you.”

Some Gave All

Executive Mansion,Washington, Nov. 21, 1864.
Dear Madam,--
I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle.

I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save.

I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.

Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,
A. Lincoln

Weekends . . .

Einstein had something going with the whole relativity thing. I have my own theory regarding weekends. I don't know how E=mc2 will figure into it, but I know that somehow time accelerates over the weekend and then slows to a crawl. My weeks here have, for the most part, gone by fairly quickly. I set small milestones along the way so that I can act surprised when I get to them. Childish, I know. Wednesday night is the best one for me so far. I found a really good church here and look forward to visiting with the people there.

But back to the weekends. Thus far the weekends cruise by at the speed of light. I usually catch a movie and then do some hiking with a friend of mine from church. Today we hiked in an old abandoned mine up in the Huachuca Mountains. The weekends have been a great experience here, but they just fly by so quickly. I always seem to find myself on Sunday night lamenting the coming morning.

As I walked through Hasting's buying books to entertain me over the coming weeks, I also made a movie purchase. Their on the shelf was no movie other than "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken." Many may have no idea that this movies exists, but it stars Don Knotts as a would be newspaper reporter vs. an old haunted house and the murder mystery within. A lot of people don't like that kind of comedy, but I thoroughly enjoy it. I've watched it twice already, and Monday doesn't seem so bad. Can Don Knotts thwart the theory of relativity?

Maybe I'll make another disjointed post like this soon.

Stil thinking

I've been stewing over what I wrote yesterday and have some more thoughts to post about it; however, my homework from my schooling has crowded into my evening. I think I'll ruminate on it some more and post more tomorrow. Besides, I'm almost finished with my Dean Koontz novel and will probably wrap it up tonight (instead of reading army field manuals).

So I will post a picture. I've been studying some military history and recently purchased the "Band of Brothers" DVD box set. So I give you the true reason for the allied victory in World War II. Who knew it was so simple?

More questions than answers

Well, some time has passed since I last posted. I have been both busy and in an all-consuming funk as of late. I can't really explain it, but part of it has to do with my current school schedule. It's just not he most exciting thing in the world right now, and I find myself thinking of home and other things. That's dangerous when you still have some 11 weeks left until school is finally over for a while. I've always been a bad day counter, and BOLC2 sapped the last bit of my motivation.

My friend Mary Anne and her husband, Cy, have both told me on numerous occasions that "you're problem is you want to go out and change the world." This is usually after I've denied yet another job offer from Cy to go and work for Fastenal and make a lot of money as one of his employees. I would always thank him and make some statement similar to the change the world deal. Then I would promptly forget about it and go about making my plans to "change the world."

I would usually roll my eyes and tell myself that I don't think that I need to change the world. I haven't thought about those moments in a long time until I got here. Since coming here I do a lot of thinking. I tend to think of just about everything except what I should be thinking about here. In keeping with that tendency I went to the bookstore this past week and bought a Dean Koontz and a Chris Baldacci novel. I began the Dean Koontz book and found a little bit of wisdom in an odd place.

The book, Fear Nothing, has turned out to be quite intriguing, and as I lay reading it on Saturday night, I read a few pages that left me sitting open mouthed in wonder. While Chris and Bobby are discussing the strange turn of events surrounding the past several hours, they come to a decision point. They must do as Christ wishes and pursue the matter further, or they may take Bobby's path and just forget it happened at all and hope life returns to normal. As Chris goes off to change the world Bobby says, "You know what your problem is? Your problem is you want to make a mark on the world. You want to leave something behind that says, I was here."

Chris responded by saying that he pretty much didn't care about things like that. Sound familiar thus far? I was in agreement at this point until Bobby's next point.

"We're not here to leave a mark, bro. Monuments, legacies, marks--that's where we always go wrong. We're here to revel in the world, to soak in the awesomeness of it, to enjoy the ride . . . The world's maximum perfect as it is, beauty from horizon to horizon. Any mark any of us tried to leave--, it's only graffiti. Any mark is no better than vandalism . . . Live life. Soak it up. Enjoy. That's what you're here to do."

Now I understand how this might come off as a "throw everything to the wind and live in complete and utter drunken revelry." In the context of the book you would realize that this is not what Bobby is saying. Chris suffers from a disease that has left him extremely photosensitive. The fact that he has lived to 28 years of age is a miracle in and of itself. Bobby is trying to ensure that Christ prolongs his years and makes the most of what he has.

With that being said and looking back at Bobby's idea, have I missed a point in life? Have I missed what it's all about? Have I wasted time . . . a lot of it? I'm normally not a confused and mentally errant person, but those few words summed up the thoughts in my mind over the last few weeks perfectly.

I feel like I've missed some simply truth in my life that has been staring me in the face for 27 years only to go unseen due to my blindness. I think of my mother and the focus on life she has always seemed to possess throughout my life. Have I made my life far more difficult than it should be? Do I seek things in other places that I have always had close by? I am discovering more questions at a time when I thought my life was going to start becoming clearer.

What's going on?

The final days

It has come at last. My time at BOLC2 draws to a close, and yet again I find myself heading off into the unknown. It's odd to think about it, but despite my misgivings about this course, it does provide and air of security and comfort just because I am aware of the rhythm here. Next week will be a new place, new instructors, and a completely new routine; however, I will finally be learning a trade in which I have always held a strong interest. I'm apprehensive but ready.

I've been absent for the past week or so due to some field time we had to put in out in the FOB. It was an interesting two weeks that we topped off with a 10 mile ruck march. It wouldn't have been bad if I had not hurt my back the morning of the ruck march and had to do the whole thing injured. Not fun to say the least, but very rewarding in the end even thought I finished the march hunched over and more reminiscent of "Eye"gore from Mel Brook's "Frankenstein." It hasn't been a bad experience all around. I've met some great people I will no doubt work with in the future. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in the book of my life.


p.s. My mother just received her PhD this week! So proud of her! Congratulations Mom!

10 Days Left

I technically have 3 weeks left, but the last week is outprocessing and the next two weeks we spend Monday through Friday in the field. So it is really only 10 days of training left. I am not enthralled about this at all, and I'm really digging deep to find the motivation necessary to put up with these final days. I know it will be over in the blink of an eye. If life is like a vapor, what must two weeks be in the grand scheme of things? From this side it seems interminable although I know differently. Keep me in your prayers and send me a text from time to time. A letter would be nice too if you have the time :D

Good luck.