The weight of responsiblity

Well, today was an interestingly lazy day. I got a valid military ID that bears my rank and proper information. I must admit it was kind of nice to see 2LT on there. After that I went and got some dental x-rays and had a TB skin test read. Other than that I sat in some bleachers while it rained and read my latest book by Dean Koontz entitled "The Face." So far it's shaping up to be one of my favorites with some very interesting and endearing characters. I have about 1/3 of it left to go. I'll report back to that later.

The two high points of the day were the PT test and a trip to the bathroom. Yes neither sound glamorous, and the last item doesn't sound like something you would wish to discuss in polite company; nevertheless, they are both quite interesting to me.

I scored higher than ever before on the APFT today. I was able to max out my push-up and sit-ups. I did 93 sit-ups (a personal record) and ran the two-mile in 13:30 (another personal record). This all totaled up to a 294 (yet another personal record). Needless to say, I have been ecstatic.

Following the APFT we began the rest of the days activities with which I began this post. (kind of awkward, but thank you Winston Churchill). While waiting at one of these places, I found myself in need of a restroom. I had been drinking water all day in preparation for the PT test and found myself paying the consequences. I finally remembered some port-o-johns that I had noticed when we pulled up in the best. I rounded the corner of the building and there they stood. Unfortunately, a large truck was in front of them cleaning them out and the smell was less than inviting. In spite of the distressing odor, I really had to go. So I walked over to them harboring the host that at least one would remain open for use. As I rounded the corner and surprised a group of 15 Privates. They all had two-quart canteens around their shoulders identifying them as basic trainees in the "red phase" of boot camp. This is the section of basic training so often immortalized in the movies for it's harsh and restricting nature. Essentially it composes the "breaking down" period to prepare them for the "building up" that comes later in basic.

Well, I cruised around the corner and ruined their world. They were lounging there, probably enjoying a brief, precious moment without a drill sergeant breathing down their neck when I ruined it all. When they saw me they all began scrambling, kicking up dust, grabbing canteens, snapping to the position of attention, saluting and sounding off with thunderous "Good afternoon, sir!" It surprised me as much as it did them. I quickly saluted them, put them at ease, and asked if the bathrooms were opened. They seemed scared to tell me that they were not. Finally one mustered the courage and told me. I laughed, thanked him, and wished them all good luck before departing.

It caused me to spend the next several hours thinking about that. I am sitting here in my introductory course very similar to them. We have NCOs that, although I outrank them, can still make me cringe in fear with a reproachful look when we make poor decisions. It seems ironic that I can cause the same fear in others as these NCOs now cause in me. They tell you what you're doing wrong and then add a "sir" to the end of it. It's humorous most of the time, until they are talking to you. I feel like I'm shamming. Those Privates have been around less than two weeks. To them an officer is some high and mighty thing (and many of them are). I don't feel that high and mighty, but I realize now the importance of the position I hold. They don't know how intelligent or ignorant I am. They just know that I'm there to make decisions. It remains my fervent prayer that I will make good decisions for those that know nothing of me, save the fact I wear a gold bar on my chest. That really does mean something. I hope I can do something to earn the respect I now enjoy by the very nature of my position. I want to earn it. I suppose only time will tell.

Overall not a very exciting day until I went in search of a latrine. I had consumed several gallons of water today with the PT test and all.